Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Mrs. B


Today’s blog is dedicated to a very special person, one who cared for a child not her own, and cared enough to save that child from a desperate life.

Mrs. B was an elementary school teacher. She was fun and well-respected, and her students loved her. This year, she had a new girl in class. The new child seemed different from the rest – she didn’t make friends easily, didn’t seem to grasp social skills very well, and behaved very oddly at times. Mrs B took note of this new student and began to learn more about her. She noticed that the girl rarely brought snacks for ‘party day’ and that when she did, it was a small box of raisins. This seemed odd to Mrs. B, since the girl constantly seemed to be hungry. While the other second graders shoveled their lunch down as quickly as possible in order to get outside for recess, this girl spent her entire lunch hour in the cafeteria – chatting with the cafeteria workers and eating second and third helpings. That might make more sense if the child was overweight, but she certainly was not. Mrs. B didn’t know what was going on, but something didn’t seem right.

One day, she asked the child and discovered that things at home were not right. The girl told Mrs. B how she spent her time at home locked in her room or outside, and how she was fed a small bowl of cereal each morning and a peanut butter or cheese sandwich for dinner, every day. She told Mrs. B about her special cup under the bathroom sink where she could get a drink of water if she was inside and her door wasn’t locked, and about the delicious-smelling meals she could hear her parents and younger sister enjoying in the evenings. She talked with love and longing about her grandparents, the Papa she loved and the Grandma who was such a wonderful cook. The child told Mrs. B how much she loved being with her grandparents, because she was free to be with them, play, eat, and not be harshly disciplined.

Mrs. B asked the child about discipline in her home, and was shocked at the answer. The child told Mrs. B that she was spanked for crying or for being bad, and especially for having accidents on the expensive hallway rug if she couldn’t get out of her locked room to make it to the bathroom on time. The girl told Mrs. B about her chalkboard, and how the hash marks on the board represented how many nights in a row she would be spanked, depending on the severity of her transgressions and how many hash marks were already on the board. If she cried excessively during the punishment, she said, more hash marks would be added. She also told Mrs. B how sad she was that she would be punished if her little sister came into her room, because she loved her little sister very much and couldn’t understand why they couldn’t play together. Mrs. B asked the girl to make her a chart for a week, showing what food she ate that week. The child seemed excited to do this special job for her teacher, and worked to make her chart as pretty as possible, drawing pictures of her cereal and sandwiches every day.

One day in November, residents of the town woke up to a thick blanket of snow. The snow prevented the buses from running, so the administration chose to keep school open for those kids whose parents could bring them, but called all the parents of bus riders to let them know that the buses would not be running. When the girl walked into her classroom that morning, very late, she was soaked from head to toe and shivering uncontrollably. Mrs. B seated the girl on the counter where the heater vents were located, with the rest of the class staring, and went to talk to the counselor. They called the girl’s stepmother to bring dry clothes, and the counselor decided to talk to the girl and find out why she was cold and wet. The girl seemed confused as she said she had been waiting at the bus stop in the snow all morning for the bus to come, but then her daddy came home and took her to school instead. She didn’t understand why the bus hadn’t come, because she felt as if she had waited a long time and no one else was waiting outside on her street. When the girl’s stepmother arrived with dry clothing, she seemed very annoyed and the counselor could hear her yelling at the girl as she changed, telling her how many marks she would get for interrupting her day like this. The counselor and Mrs. B knew what the marks meant, and they were determined not to let this little girl continue to live in these wretched conditions.

Mrs. B and the counselor set an evening meeting with the girl’s parents, determined to see for themselves what was going on in the home. When they arrived at the house, they never saw the girl, and they had clear evidence that this environment was not healthy or safe for her. Mrs. B and her colleagues gave the parents an ultimatum: stop the abuse, or find the girl a loving home , otherwise they would be reported by the school to the authorities to be prosecuted for child abuse.

The day after Christmas, it was all settled and arranged. Mrs. B and the counselor met the girl and her parents at the school and watched as they loaded the girl’s toybox and a few possessions into the car of a family who had agreed to take her in. Mrs. B hugged the girl goodbye and gave the girl her address, so they could keep in touch even though the girl was moving away. The girl was confused and sad to be leaving her family, but the decision had been made. After the visit from Mrs. B and her colleagues, the girl’s stepmother had given the girl’s father an ultimatum too: get rid of the girl, or she would leave and take their young daughter with her. The father had to choose between leaving his oldest daughter an orphan, since her mother had died two years earlier, or losing his wife and youngest daughter. He chose to stay with his wife, so the girl had to go. He arranged for a couple from their church to take her; they very much wanted a child but were unable to have one.

The girl was frightened and sad, and she didn’t understand why her daddy didn’t want her anymore. She loved her new family, but there was a sadness in her heart that followed her everywhere, and within six months she was moving into another home with a relative, feeling completely abandoned and unwanted. She kept in touch with Mrs. B for a while, but eventually she stopped writing to her.

Now, the girl is a woman, a mom, a wife, and she recognizes how different her life would have been if Mrs. B hadn’t cared enough to find out her story and had the courage to help change it.


The girl is me, and Mrs. B was my second-grade teacher. I can’t say how she feels about what she did, or even if she remembers the awkward little girl whose life she changed forever. What I can say, however, is how thankful I am that God put her into my life at that moment. Thank you, Mrs. B, from the bottom of my heart. Your courage and compassion will keep you always in my heart and my prayers, and you’ll always be a hero to me.

Friday, August 24, 2012

I'm a Finn fan!!

These are my sweet friends, Britt and Betsey Weaver.  We like to call them Brittsey, since we get a little tongue tied trying to say Britt and Betsey. :-) This photo was taken in the summer of 2011, while they were taking a late honeymoon in California.  Britt had planned the entire trip and made it a surprise for Betsey, but he wasn't prepared for the surprise she had planned for him...
Betsey had just found out that she was pregnant! Baby "Shocker" was due to arrive just after Christmas. They hadn't planned on adding a fourth child to their brood, but God clearly felt they needed just one more! We were all excited and eagerly anticipating a sweet Christmas gift for their beautiful family. The gender reveal party shared the news that we were waiting for a boy, who would be named Finn Ricker. Perfect! Finn would round out the family perfectly, since Brittsey had twin girls and one boy already. We couldn't have been happier for them!!

Unfortunately, it wasn't long before Betsey began experiencing some serious complications. After many scary trips to the hospital, prayer vigils, and bed rest problems, she was admitted to Mercy hospital in OKC to stay until Finn arrived. The goal was to get her as close to her due date as possible, since every single week of pregnancy increased Finn's chances of survival. Doctors weren't sure what was wrong, but they did everything they could to keep Betsey and Finn healthy while we covered them in prayer.

On October 5, 2011, the doctors realized that Betsey had a placental abruption and rushed her into surgery for an emergency c-section. Finn was born at 26 weeks gestation, weighing only 1 lb, 14 oz. He was barely longer than a ruler at 13" long.  He was tiny and needed lots of help to survive - but he did it! Finn survived and thrived, and got to go home (with oxygen support and a heart monitor) just after Christmas. He continued to grow and get stronger until he was finally able to be off the heart monitor, then have his oxygen weaned to nothing. By June, Finn was out and about with his family - Brittsey, twin sisters Emma & Lara, and big brother Jake.  As I snapped this pic of my oldest daughter holding Finn when we ran into them at a local restaurant, my heart was overflowing with emotion at how far my dear friends had come and how much healing and growth God had given all of us through Finn's struggle.
Now, Finn is healthy, happy, and right on track with his growth and development. To celebrate his journey and contribute to the fight for babies everywhere, I have decided to walk with Finn's Fans at the March For Babies on October 6. Finn will turn 1 year old the day before our walk, and I can't help but smile when I see his precious little face. Will you join me in helping babies like Finn? I need 15 people to donate $10 in order to reach my fundraising goal. You can donate online at http://www.marchforbabies.org/meredithbeyl - every donation helps! Please join with me in celebrating this beautiful family who I love so much!





Thursday, August 16, 2012

Melba Louise; August 16, 1953 - June 25, 1982

 
My Dearest Mom,

I hope you know that I love you, even though I don’t really remember you.  I have pictures, but it’s not the same.  An old tape recording of you is the only reason I remember the sound of your voice.  I sometimes resent my cousins because they knew you better than I did – they have so many memories to share, so much love for you.  And I’m thankful for how much you loved them.  They needed that, and the things I’ve heard from them about your loving nature gave me a desire from the beginning to love others like that.  People tell me that you were kind and patient, and I hope I’ve inherited some of that from you.  Some days, I think I do better than others.  And some days I wish I could ask you how to improve.   So many people loved you.  Your parents missed you until the day they died; I don’t think a day went by that they didn’t think of you.  They never said an unkind word about you, at least not to me.  They didn’t agree with all your choices, but they loved you always.  Did you know that they fought for your pictures?  It wasn’t easy, but they did it for me.  They bought a big black trunk and filled it with you – your pictures, your fur coat, your wedding dress, your clarinet practice book, even the receipt for the clothes you were buried in.  Grandma used to go through it with me every summer.  It would take us two full days to get everything out and put it back; not because there was so much stuff, but because we would look at every single picture while she told me stories about you.  For years I believed that you weren’t really dead; you were in hiding and would come rescue me as soon as you could.  I wrote you letters and had dreams about you.  I don’t even remember when I finally accepted that you really were in that grave.  Probably when I saw a copy of some hospital paperwork from that day…most everything was blacked out, but I could see enough to know that it wasn’t a mistake.
 
Some days, like today, I miss you so much it hurts.  I’ll never know why I think of you every time I smell mustard, and you’ll never know your beautiful grandchildren.  I’ll never get to laugh with you about the day we took my favorite picture of us, when I was wearing the yellow flower in my hair.  I remember that day!  We were celebrating my birthday and Rebecca’s with one party, as always, and you had gotten Rebecca a flower too.  Hers was white, and I wanted it instead of my yellow flower.  I threw a fit, and I wasn’t very nice to you.  The picture doesn’t show that – in the picture, I’m all smiles with my cake showing the story of the little pig who went to kindergarten.  If I could talk to you now, I’d tell you thank you for not giving me the white flower. You were right: the yellow one was beautiful, and I was being selfish.
Today would be your birthday.  I’ll never forget the last one we got to celebrate with you.  I was so excited about the sugar-free cake Grandma had bought you and the dinner she’d made, and so happy to spend time with you at their house.  I never dreamed that birthday would be your last, and I know you didn’t either.  Remembering you makes me realize how unpredictable life is and how little control we really have over it.  Remembering your life, I can’t help but renew my own desire to make mine count – to love freely and fully, to serve others, to be generous and kind.  To move past my mistakes, to forgive myself when I mess up, and to never forget that it could all be over in an instant. You weren’t perfect, but you’ll always be an inspiration to me.
 
Love always,
Meredith Lee

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

From This Day Forward

Tonight, Cory and I got to share our marriage story in a short video for Lifechurch.tv Stillwater. We had talked beforehand about what we would say, but sitting in those chairs with the bright lights, microphones, and video cameras, I was struck by just how blessed we are to be in this moment. Sometimes, in the process of day to day life, I forget just how much we, as one, have been broken, redeemed, and healed.

We've been married for six and a half years, and for the first three, we definitely were not "one" person. We had very different perspectives, priorities, and goals, and we discovered pretty quickly that we had very different bonds with Christ. Probably due to all the struggles in my childhood, I've always had a relationship with God that's very tangible, very real, very intimate. Cory, on the other hand, seemed to view salvation as a prayer you say once, a plea for forgiveness, or a "get out of hell free" card. When the kids and I found Lifechurch.tv Stillwater and became a part of the family, we and many others prayed diligently that he would come to know the joy of a deeper relationship with our Savior. I did all I could to be a godly wife and to hold our marriage together, and I vowed that I would do everything possible to make sure I didn't find myself divorced for a second time. Then, a little over 3 years into our marriage, all that changed when I found out that Cory had been having an affair for almost the entire time we'd been married.

I was heartbroken, angry, and hurt. For the first time in three years, I was thankful that I was spending the night away from home working at our local domestic violence shelter. I was ready to give up, ready to face failing at marriage yet again, and ready to go back to being a single mom of three kids. I wanted nothing more than for Cory to pack his things and get out of my house. All my prayers, all my longing, all my hopes and dreams were shattered. My thoughts swirled as I wondered how to break it to the kids, how I would manage two visitation schedules, how I would be able to pick up the pieces and go on when I felt like such a failure. I poured my heart out to my best friend, my Jesus, and waited for his comfort and validation to take over.

But comfort and validation never came. Instead of telling me I had failed and that He would give me strength, God told me that His ways are not my ways, and that divorce was not in His plan. I had been praying for my husband to see Christ the way I see him, and this was my chance to show just how committed I was to making that happen. I had to forgive my husband. If I wanted him to know what it truly means to be saved, redeemed, and forgiven by God, I had to show him myself, mirroring the love and forgiveness of Christ. Instead of walking away, I had to stay,

For the next year and a half, I fought my urge to leave and watched as God worked miracles in my husband's heart and soul. Every time Cory asked me about a Bible verse, told me about hearing God's voice, and took baby steps toward Christ, I questioned God. Was he doing this just to keep me from leaving, or was it genuine? Would this new-found faith keep growing, or would it shrivel and die before it ever really bloomed? Would our marriage really be transformed, or was this all an act? Would my faithfulness pay off, or would I end up heartbroken yet again? Oddly enough, God didn't give me any reassurance about the sincerity of my husband's changes. Every time I questioned, the answer was the same: "It doesn't matter. Your forgiveness can't be dependent on his sincerity." So I kept forgiving and tried to trust. Cory began going to LifeGroup with me, then started joining me at church. Nine months after I caught my husband in an affair, I sat next to him and prayed with him as he committed his life to Christ fully - all in, holding nothing back. Six months later, I knew his devotion was real when he stood in the pool for everyone to see and our children baptized him as our family, church staff, and friends rejoiced, cheered, and cried.

Now, three years after we almost gave up, we get to sit in front of a camera and tell others how we seek God together, pray together, read the Bible together, and serve our Number One together. We are redeemed, restored, and renewed, and our marriage is stronger than I ever could have imagined. Our children know how much we love each other, how much we love them, and how we love God above all, and they join us in prayers, Bible studies, and in serving God and others. As always, the Bible says it best: Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. Psalm 126:5

Friday, August 10, 2012

We can't deny it

If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is. 2 Timothy 2:13

Over a year ago, we started a weekly tradition in our house. We got a large dry-erase board, various colors of markers to go with it, and made a family prayer board. We would take it down once a week and update it, adding new prayer requests, sharing updates on requests from the week before, listing praises and answered prayers, and then praying together as a family over the board. It opened our eyes to the struggles of those we love, and gave us a forum to share our worries and joys with each other. We hung the board where we all walk by it daily and prayed throughout the week for everything on the board, adding updates and new requests as they arose. The board even became a subject of interest at our LifeGroup as members noticed their names and were able to see in a very tangible way that we pray for them daily.

Over time, we became unfaithful with our prayer board. Two weeks between updates grew to four, then eight, then before long we realized we hadn't taken it down and updated it in months. We kept talking about the board, praying over the requests, but we just never got around to updating it. This afternoon as I walked past it while cleaning for LifeGroup, I started reading some of the requests written there and realized many of them had been answered. After LifeGroup, Cory and I took the board down for a closer look. The date at the top of the board, designating our last update, read October 25, 2011. Yet, while examining those 'old' prayer requests and realizing just how long we had been unfaithful to keeping it up, we also noticed clear evidence of God's never-ending faithfulness.

We went through the list, talking about each request and comparing what we had prayed for with where the situations/people/lives were now. Of the 76 requests written on that board almost a year ago, we realized that 50 had been directly answered. FIFTY!! In looking at those prayers, we saw friends deliver a healthy preemie baby who is perfect, struggling families grow together in Christ, a child healed after complete liver failure, a woman healed of cancer, our church staff strengthened, and our own weaknesses being overcome by fruits of the spirit. We saw prayers answered in unexpected ways, too - ailing family members and friends now rejoicing in heaven instead of living in pain on earth, jobs not received and better opportunities taking their place, friends drifting away so new ones could step in. In October, we were praying for one family's foster children, and now we're awaiting the impending arrival of their THREE adopted children from Haiti! One of our biggest requests - for Cory to find a full-time job, was answered just this week.

We were unfaithful. We didn't keep our commitment, and we faltered in our attempt to unite our family in prayer. We did nothing to deserve having those prayers answered.

And yet here we are, looking at 50 answered prayers, all because our God is faithful no matter what. It takes my breath away, humbles me, and brings me to my knees in awe and thankfulness. All I can say is AMEN!! And let me tell you, that kind of faithfulness DESERVES a lot of amens - that's what the comments section is for. :-) May I be more faithful in the future, and may I always stand amazed at the goodness and faithfulness of my God. Can I get an amen?!?

Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Center of It

It's been almost a month since my last new post, and what a month it has been! Serious financial stresses and amazing shows of God's provision, continuing anxiety about Cory's job search, and continuous streams of spiritual attacks have worn us down. But...as I said in my last post, I know who wins in the end - and God has shown up and shown off for us!!!

CORY GOT A JOB!!!! FULL-TIME!!! DOING SOMETHING HE ENJOYS!!!! AND HE STARTS MONDAY!!!!

We are praising God with hands held high, tears in our eyes, and awe in our hearts! There have been many times during this past 15 months where we have found ourselves discouraged and weary, wondering if we would ever be able to dig ourselves out of the hole his unemployment has created and questioning why none of the applications he put in were yielding callbacks. There are no words now to describe how I felt when he was offered the job yesterday. There was no holding back, no semblance of propriety in my reaction - when I read that email, my hands immediately went up in praise, my eyes overflowed with tears, and praise just spilled out of my mouth. The long season of waiting made this blessing so much sweeter!!

In the words of Chris August's new song, "Center of It" (Look it up and have a listen...it's one of my current favorites!):

Somedays I'm feelin' like I
Can't win, can't get it right and it
Don't matter how hard I try
Today is not my day
When it feels like I'm going crazy
And it looks like nothings changing
Come sun come rainy day
You are still the same

In the dark, in the light
In the morning and night
In the good, in the hurt
In the places I hide
When I rise, when I fall
You'll be there through it all
At the start, at the end
In the center of the center of it

Some nights I lay awake and I
Can't push these thoughts away
I'm worried where I'm gonna go
Where I'm gonna be are You gonna be there for me
When it feels like the doors are closing
Gotta trust that You're doing something
Come sun come rainy day
You are all I need

In the dark, in the light
In the morning and night
In the good, in the hurt
In the places I hide
When I rise, when I fall
You'll be there through it all
At the start, at the end
In the center of the center of it

There will be days I will forget
Everything You've done for me
But when I go back there again
I'm reminded

In the dark, in the light
In the morning and night

In the dark, in the light
In the morning and the night
In the good, in the hurt
In the places I hide
When I rise, when I fall
You'll be there through it all
At the start, at the end
In the center of the center of it
The center of it all, the center of it
In the loss, in the win
In the beauty and the sin
At the start, at the end
In the center of the center of it