Just One Word

Last January, I wrote a blog post about my 'one word' for 2013. If you haven't seen it, check it out here:Yep, I'm crazy.... When I look back on that post and realize just how much our lives have changed since then, I realize that God was so very faithful in showing me just how much "more" he is able to do, even when I have less to give. Especially when I have less to give. I had no idea when I stopped serving in LifeKIDS a year ago that by the time the year was over, I would be thankful for my Sunday mornings alone. When I wrote Alzheimer's is a horrid, cruel disease. last March, I had no idea that less than six months later, I'd be using every ounce of my emotional, mental, and physical energy just to function as we struggled to find Dad a home and keep him safe. I didn't know that I would be writing his obituary by October, or how deeply I would be overcome by depression afterward. I had no idea that as the calendar marked a new year, my emotions would still be so fragile that even attending church would become difficult. It's been over two months since Dad met Jesus, and I still haven't conquered this demon we call depression. Last year, I somehow missed the point of "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more...according to HIS power at work within us" and mistakenly believed that I would be the one doing "more" instead of realizing that GOD would be the one doing "more" in me. As we greet this new year, I am broken, humbled, completely reliant on God's strength instead of my own. And so, with my inadequacies and weaknesses bared for all to see, I realize that my word this year is "enough". But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is ENOUGH for you...my strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in {your} weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses...that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!!   2 Corinthians 12:9

Enough. God's power, God's grace, God's kindness, God's favor....he is enough for me. His power is most effective when I am weak. All this inadequacy I am feeling, all this absolute powerlessness, makes me strong because I am living by HIS power, not my own. And as I know, he is able to do immeasurably more than I can even imagine, let alone do, myself. He is enough. He is more than enough. Already, in the very first day of this new year, I have seen his favor, his mercy, his love. I have watched my husband teach our son how to replace a doorknob, and by doing so, he also taught him how to follow through on promises and how to show others love in the ways they receive it best. That one simple lesson in home improvement showed just how much my amazing husband loves all of us. I am blessed. I have enough. Just today, we received an amazing gift from Cory's parents that will continue to bless us for months and years to come. We have jobs, we have food, we have clothing, and a home. We have our family - all five people in our house love Jesus and love others, and that makes all the difficult moments a little bit easier to navigate. We have pets, reliable vehicles, cable tv, and lots of love. We have friends who are close enough to be family, a church family we love dearly, and the best extended family we could ever ask for. We're always just one text away from a smile - a photo of our sweet baby niece, a funny joke, an encouraging lift from a friend. We are living under the favor, strength, and power of the Messiah, and that is enough. No matter how long this season of depression and weakness lasts, I will remind myself, every day if I have to, that I have God's power, and therefore, I have enough.